The Prophet-Massema (Show me the Meaning...)
by Zelin Danica Nynaeve Ni'karin
Summary: Another song written by Back-Street Bodies (somebody murdered them) that I hate.
1. Default Chapter

Da de da... I don't own WOT * sigh *  
  
The Prophet (Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely)  
  
All the WOT characters are in Ebou Dar. Mat runs and hides (flees for his life from the -gasp- lace collared shirts. Massema is holding a raid party, that some of the Aiel joined (Massema's mob will have MAJOR headaches -ahhem Elyane *cough*- in the morning from ossquai)  
  
Massema's mob: Show me the meaning of Light, Lord Dragon  
  
Blessed be you in the Light  
  
Tell me why I can't be there where you arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
  
So many words for the rest of us  
  
You tame shadowspawn, like your friend Perrin  
  
We will do you evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy wish (not shutting up)  
  
Walk with me Rand....  
  
Massema: HOW DARE YOU USE THE NAME OF THE LORD DRAGON, BLESSED BE HIS NAME IN THE LIGHT????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kills all his followers.   
  
Uno: struts over, slightly wobbly Can you get on with the flaming song about the Dragon bloody Reborn?  
  
Nyneave: UNO! Mother's milk in a cup, how flaming dare you use that bloody language around me, you summer ham??? Is about to kill Uno when Lan comes. Nyneave runs up to him. Lan!!! I haven't seen you for over THREE MINUTES. I was SO worried.  
  
Tylin comes over.  
  
Tylin: looks approvingly at Nyneave. That's right Nyneave. You have to handle them FIRMLY or they'll never get house broken.  
  
Matsy, oh my rabbit, where are you?  
  
Mat sprints away.   
  
Nyneave looks at Tylin  
  
Nyneave: I'll weave you a gate, if you promise you'll house-break him.  
  
Tylin: You know Mat.  
  
Nyneave: much to my regret.  
  
Tuon comes up.  
  
Tuon: very gittery I just married Mat.  
  
Nyneave and Tylin: WHAT!!!  
  
Tuon: yes  
  
Nyneave: first Rand, then Mat. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. * Sobs * Oh Lannypoo, maybe I wasn't a * sniff * good Wisdom after all!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
Lan takes her away.   
  
So ends Chapter One, the of the Prophet 


	2. One Down

In my pathetic and pointless life, the only thing I own is my insanity.   
  
Chapter Two of The Prophet  
  
Tylin comes dragging Mat back. Tylin: it's your verse Matsy. Tuon smiles in agreement.  
  
Mat: Erm. The dice are using my head  
  
For a bloody dice cup  
  
They never say  
  
Forever roll, if only  
  
I had never met the bloody  
  
Aelfinn  
  
(looks meaningfully at Tylin and Tuon)  
  
SHOW ME THE MEANING OF BEING LONELY (hint)  
  
This is a feeling I WANT to walk with  
  
Tell me why I HAVE to be in Ebou Dar  
  
Rand walks up. Rand: I ordered you to take care of Elyane, and get her to the throne!!!! Mat is mad that Rand is giving him orders again. Mat: Yah, so she can get on the throne. Sure. Mmmmhmm. Rand walks away disgruntled.  
  
Elyane: talking about me as if I were property. (nose in the air) I AM the DAUGHTER HEIR OF ANDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rand Al'thor, Dragon Reborn or no Dragon Reborn, you WILL know the Amrilyn's seat's wrath.  
  
Rand: is that a Foretelling? (laughs and gates away)  
  
Elyane: (to the spot where Rand was standing) YES IT IS!!!!!!!  
  
Bob the Gholam appears. Bob: "Your medallion thing-a-ma-bob can no longer touch me!"  
  
Mat: right.  
  
Bob: Yes  
  
Mat: Sure  
  
Bob: yes  
  
Mat: No  
  
Bob: yes  
  
Mat: right.  
  
Bob: Yes  
  
Mat: Sure  
  
Bob: yes  
  
Mat: No  
  
Bob: yes  
  
Mat: right.  
  
Bob: Yes  
  
Mat: Sure  
  
Bob: yes  
  
Mat: No  
  
Bob: yes  
  
Mat: YES  
  
Bob: NO  
  
Mat: so we agree. Goodbye Bob.  
  
Bob: (huffly) Will you take the risk?  
  
Mat: Yes  
  
Gholam thinks for a moment. "Give me Elyane and I will no longer bug you."  
  
Mat tosses Elyane over to Bob. Elyane flashes her dimples. Bob is not impressed. Elyane looks hurt. "I am the wife of the DRAGON." Bob is not impressed.  
  
Bob kills Elyane (screams of excitement from WOT fans).  
  
Rand walks up and poises his sword to swing down on Mat's head. Rand: you killed Elyane. I KNIGHT YOU KNIGHT OF THE (Rand thinks for a moment) DICE CUP (Mat groans).  
  
Rand: ONE DOWN, TWO TO GO! Who says and award of honor goes to Mat?  
  
WOT fans- US!!!  
  
Rand: then I marry you to Tuon, the Daughter of Nine Moons. It's your lucky day Mat.  
  
Mat: what evil person wrote this.  
  
MDV (mysterious disembioded voice): Me  
  
Mat: you are very cruel  
  
MDV: Next chapter you'll get your NEXT `award of honor.' * Snickers *  
  
Mat: Tuon!!!?  
  
MDV: how did you guess?  
  
Mat whimpers.  
  
Nyneave: NO!  
  
MDV: I am you Nyneave  
  
Nyneave is transported to the World of Dreams, where the MDV sets up the mirror dream. Nyneave freaks out because the MDV evilly says the Nyneave is Illyena. Poor Nyneave.  
  
So ended Chapter Two of The Now Dead Prophet 


End file.
